I'm a loser, baby

First, I wanted to acknowledge reader D.B. Echo, who managed to get an acknolwedgement of Al's passing into his newspaper as a letter to the editor. From him (as originally commented on CC):

I’m still rather pissed about the mainstream media generally ignoring Al Scaduto’s passing. So much so that I decided that if my local paper (which carries They’ll Do It Every Time) was not going to mention it on their own, I would make them mention it.

My plan worked, and my letter made it into their Letters to the Editor page. Unfortunately, some good stuff was trimmed at then end. Here is the letter in its original format, with the edit shown in bold. Please feel free to copy and revise for your own local papers.

Al Scaduto died on Saturday, December 8 at the age of 79.

If you don’t know who Al Scaduto is, turn to the comics section of the weekday version of the Citizens’ Voice and look at the lower left-hand corner. Al Scaduto has single-handedly written and illustrated the one-panel comic They’ll Do It Every Time for the past eighteen years, and prior to that co-wrote it as part of the team of Dunn and Scaduto.

Al Scaduto was a gem of a man, gentle, kind, and polite, as noted on the blog The Comics Curmudgeon (joshreads.com) in comments by his many fans, correspondents, and even several family members. Sadly, his passing has gone almost completely unnoticed by the mainstream media. He was loved, and will be missed.

Thanks for sharing, and great job.

On to today's strip. I'm fine with the premise of the strip (guy never wins anything, but the one time he is chosen randomly, it's to find something bad in his food) (he probably also gets chosen to sit on the jury of the trial that lasts forever, and his employer won't pay him for that time, so he only gets the $15/day or whatever). It's the specificity of him finding a stone in his food. That just seems so bizarre, that I have to wonder whether L. Gerner suggested it. I mean, of anything to find in his food, I wouldn't think "stone." But hey, maybe he can be a winner in the end. I bet that since he obviously needs dental work, he can probably sue the caterer (maybe even the location of the event) and get the money for that, and probably damages to boot. I'd tell him to look on the bright side, but that has to be tough when your name is "Loozer."

No squid? I'm disappointed

Today's strip is actually quite appropriate for this time of year--a party! Whee! I'm just having a hard problem figuring out the point. Loopina brought all of her favorite foods, and people are complaining about individual dishes. I...what? I guess maybe it should've been potluck, but people would probably still object to some of the dishes. And the thing is, the complaints (too spicy, too salty, two vegetarians, no fish, no sugar) each apply to only a few of the dishes. Too spicy? Well, have the ham. No salt? Try the turkey. No fish? Ham or turkey. No sugar? Skip dessert. I imagine that the side dishes are mostly vegetarian. It's not like none of these people can eat, and Loopina will have to lug this food home. I guess she doesn't want people whining? Hey, I thought that was what family reunions were about.

Dogs, dieting, fashion, cars...and some meta

Sorry for my delinquence of late; I know, I've been terrible. I do recommend checking out the comments on the entry at CC about Al's death; some of his family and friends have checked in, and some people have also written some pretty moving comments. I also suggest reading this blog entry by a reader. Both he and Josh have managed to articulate their feelings about Al much better than I. (This is why I'm an editor, not a writer, people!) I will say that it makes me sad that there's been virtually no coverage of Al's death. TDIET is one of the few comics that's carried nationally, and has been around for a long time. You'd think the passing of its artist would merit some attention.

Anyway. On with the show. Four days in brief recap...

Monday. Mrs. Goosegg should rely solely on the dog for vacuuming purposes; I mean, why have a vacuum at all if you have a dog? Also, where did that table come from in the bottom panel? I'm sure you all also saw that this is a CC reader-submitted strip. So exciting!

Tuesday. I can't really fault Ragmop here. Part of the key to losing weight isn't to necessarily cut out all fatty foods; it's just to eat them in moderation. If he can be happy with samples only, more power to him. And isn't Fatburger a real restaurant?

Wednesday. This is awesome for many reasons, except the similarity to last Monday's strip. I love that Migraina actually calls him out for not going with her suggestion, and I love that Al included "send him to the moon" with the "striped shirt" piece. It could've been "The urge to stripe his shirt" or something, but the "to the moon" made it all worthwhile. Awesome.

Today. Oh, kids these days, with their loud music. Maybe Hekkie heard the plinking between songs on his radio. Notice that he never says that the noise bothers him; maybe he's just upset by his car making a weird noise? I know I am. And I applaud him for taking good car of my car.

The urge to stop rerunning ideas?

Today's strip is a slight variation on a strip from May...to the point that just now, I couldn't remember which one was today's and which one was the older one. (Hint: The nurse in today's is blonde.) For pete's sake, it's boiled scrod instead of roast beef in both of them! We learned from helpful reader rowboat last time that hospital patients in Germany do get to pick off of a menu, and that they usually get what they want. And again, it's a case of complaining. If Fignewt can't have roast beef because of dietary restrictions, yes, someone should've told him. But in general, I can't get worked up about this. Mostly because I'm spending my time comparing the two strips. I think the old one is better.

And Happy Halloween, all! I wish Al would get on the bandwagon of themed strips. Ah well.

Frantic catch-up

Today's strip strikes as kind of completely bizarre. Garbage cans? The kid who's clutching his mother in fear totally makes the strip. Clearly Dad has rage issues. You'd think he'd plan ahead when taking the garbage out, but apparently not. I kind of want the passer-by to lecture him on raccoons. Or, have a raccoon attack him! That would be awesome.

Yesterday's strip delves into a side of the medical world we rarely see--how doctors relate to their spouses. I'm kind of disappointed it's not more like Grey's Anatomy. Epsom is no McDreamy. The issue is Mrs. Epsom's expression in the top panel. I'd imagine that she's been sick before and dealt with his treatment (or lack thereof); her expression in the top panel should be more ironic; at least a smirk. I guess she doesn't want to know what a crap husband Epsom is.

In Tuesday's strip, we delve into the fascinating world of mommy issues. Love how Ragmop says "Ohh yeah" not once, but twice. Excellent. I'm also fascinated that he actually knows how his mother made this mystery concoction--honestly, the men in this strip don't seem that perceptive. And again, it's like Al can't say "divorce," but has to keep saying "Grounds for you-know-what." Unless by that he means "murder." Hmm. And again with all the dishes! Geez.

Newsflash in Monday's strip: Boys will do things for the girls they like that they complain about when their mother wants them to do it. (Man, what an awkward construction. My bad.) Although, honestly, it looks like Yorkie and his girl are planning to hike the Appalachian Trail, given the size of those packs.

And I do recommend that everyone check out Sunday's strip. As reader Cedar pointed out, it contains so many TDIET highlights--squid, yoyoitis, an odd highlighting of technology (i.e., CDs), "Oh, Daddy, what you said!" We also get a glimpse of how Al draws cats. It's...neither pretty nor realistic.

I don't want my car to have a specific make, Al!

In today's strip, we learn that people treat themselves differently than they treat their cars. Shocking. I guess it's bad because Barfwell treats his car better than he treats himself? Eh. I don't understand why Mrs. Barfwell is all, "How could you?" I mean, he's eating a lot--and randomly (oysters, chili, hot dog, and custard pie? Barfwell's going to live up to his name real soon)--but it's not something to get that worked over. I guess it'd be a concern if he always ate like that, but it almost seems like Mrs. B is more upset about him looking gross in public. That could just be my take, though.

And shouldn't it be "What kind of gas and oil I put in this car"? It's not like you put gas or oil in a car; you put in both.

Also, "din-din" is what a dog eats. Most of us humans have "dinner."

Can you make goulash out of a hide?

The most confusing part of today's strip is the heading "Grounds for you know what". No, actually, I don't know what (not personally, anyway! *rim shot*). Divorce? I wouldn't really call this grounds for divorce. That's extreme. And why the heck was Drusilla making appetizers? It'd be one thing if she thought the boss was supposed to be coming to their house, but that doesn't seem to be the case. (Also, Al, don't use the name "Drusilla" again, as it only makes me think of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Dru would clearly do something insane in revenge, which would be entertaining, but doesn't really fit with the strip.) I mean--look at all that food. That's only for Drusilla and Knotop? That just seems extreme.

If Knotop had any brains, what he would've done is come home and lied. He should've said that as he was leaving, his boss invited them over for dinner, and of course Knotop couldn't say no. Everybody wins (unless Drusilla says something about a "last-minute invitation" while at dinner). At least Knotop looks a bit sheepish. I would, too. Look at all that food! Well, at least Drusilla can bring the pie with her as a hostess gift.

Really, do women spend their whole days preparing a meal just for their husband when it's not something like their anniversary? Also, Al, a side salad doesn't take very long to whip up.

I don't think the golf clubs fit in my car

What impressed me about today's strip is that it's actually season-appropriate. Spring has come and gone. Anyway, I can't get particularly worked up about this. Was Mrs. Arfo particularly counting on those vegetables, or is she just annoyed that Arfo is all talk, no action? If the latter, then it's probably just the latest thing in a long line of disappointments. I feel bad for her, but she's probably used to it. I like how Al is piling on Arfo--not only did he not plant the garden, but he's a crappy golfer, to boot. At least he drives a nice car.

On a different note, I'm taking a short break. I'll be back Tuesday. Tomorrow I head off for a long weekend with my sister and baby niece!

Mmm, squid souffle

Today's strip confuses me a bit. It's not the basic premise, it's the details. Why is it such a big deal that the waitress comes over when you're in the middle of eating something that's very hot? Is the fact that it's hot a problem? If not, why not just say, "Have your mouth full"? What it's full of doesn't really matter. And really, at that point it's just a (typical, I'll admit) nuisance that the waitress comes over when your mouth is full. Why does she have to go on and on like that (other than to allow me to include the tags for weirdo food and Hap Hapless--and aren't we all glad to hear he's doing well?)? And do waitresses honestly start conversations like that? I've never had a waiter or waitress ask me about what television show I watched the night before.

So, as in so many cases, the basic premise (waitress comes over at inconvenient time) is fine; it's pretty much every single detail that makes it bizarre. He'll do it every time!

No chance of scurvy for them!

The thing that intrigues me about today's strip actually isn't anything about the content, which I find kind of cute, to be honest (maybe it's because it's one of those "Nobody's wrong or bad in this situation!" strips and both Nulla and Barfo are smiling in the top panel). It's the fact that the submitter is from Florida. Does she frequently send people fruit, then hear from them that they had just bought a ton of fruit themselves?

And holy crow, how much citrus did Nulla and Barfo buy? Is that just for the two of them? Do they eat only oranges and grapefruit?

The urge to barf his bits. Ew.

Today's strip is one of those where I don't object to the overall message of the strip, but the execution just makes me say, "Come on!" The husband wants something called "Barf Bits"? Seriously? No. No company would ever sell that as a product for people to purchase and consume. I could see some company selling that as a gag (*rim shot*) gift, but that's it. No husband would be complaining that he couldn't eat his barf bits. No no no. And why does the mother look so upset in the top panel? Is it because she knows that her family is going to complain as soon as she gets back? If that's the case, then she should say, "OK, nobody has any suggestions. So don't complain when I get home and haven't bought the snack you like."

Interestingly, it seems the family is bothered that she got something similar to what they like, but not quite the right item. Either she doesn't know that Wheat Crums and Pistachio Wafers and Barf Bits are their favorites (doubtful), or she chose those possibly generic items to save money. Or she just enjoys pissing her family off, in which case, kudos to her. They seem like brats.

And really, it seems that they were all at home when she went shopping. They could've come along.

I like how we just have a "The urge." It's not "the urge to" do something specific. Just an urge.

Now I have a helpful egg cooker!

I'm trying to figure out why it's important in today's strip that Fignewt is retired. It's highlighted in both the expo box and Elpie saying that he needs to get a life (when she actually means he just needs to stop bothering her--which, really, would be what most people would say). I guess we have to assume that when he had a job, he wouldn't hover that way. Probably because he came home and found dinner on the table, as it should be.

I kind of feel bad for Fignewt, though; look at his face in that top panel. He doesn't look demanding or anything, just a bit sad. Aww. Maybe that's why it's important he's retired--he doesn't really feel a sense of purpose in his life, so tries to help out. Sure, what he's saying is annoying, but now I feel bad for him.

Same with the bottom panel. If they'd chosen something other than fried eggs, I might be less sympathetic, but I have major problems with them myself (mostly flipping them, to be honest). And Elpie is just pissing me off. And what's up with the layout of the house--the bedroom open to the kitchen like that? Particularly since it doesn't look that way in the top panel.

I always seem to wind up sympathizing with the wrong person in these things, don't I?

TV, hospitals, and more tv

Wednesday's strip makes no sense to me. The basic problem is that if a movie is being aired on television, then it's already out on tape. (And, by the way, Al, most of us buy DVDs nowadays.) If it's on tv and not already released for purchase, then you're probably watching it on pay-per-view or On Demand...and in both cases, you'd be seeing the original uncut version. And if the movie is that bad, then it's probably rated R, which the parents should've noticed. So, no sympathy from me. I do like the replacement use of "You're just a meany--you ol' fuddy duddy." We just don't use the phrase "fuddy-duddy" enough these days.

Yesterday's strip once again takes us to a hospital (although submitted by someone from DC, not Florida, so that's nice). Do hospitals actually provide menus to their patients like this? That would be obnoxious if you were given a choice and didn't get it...but really, is this an actual situation? We don't know why this guy is in the hospital (no IV or bandages), but roast beef, mashed potatoes, pie, coffee, and biscuits (mmm, biscuits) does not sound like something that a hospital would offer to most of its patients. At least there aren't any totally bizarro foods mentioned.

Is it wrong that in today's strip, I'm more interested in the food on the table than in the actual substance of the strip? I didn't think so. I'm just trying to figure out whether that's a fast food bag next to the hamburger and the bottle of ketchup. Or is that soda? Probably soda. Maybe those are fries? I'm not sure. I appreciate the newspaper proclaiming that the ballgam that Arfo wanted to watch was a "big game"--subtle. Nice. Why he's so intent on listening to the news, though, is beyond me. Unless he's making a point about not being able to hear the tv. Situations like this always get me. I assume that Arfo and Migraina have been married for a while. He's sitting about 1 foot from the television. I refuse to believe that he can't just tune out his wife. But I do feel for Arfo. It reminds me of growing up, my dad would insist on having the tv on a certain channel...and then would read a newspaper. But we weren't allowed to change the channel. Typical.

Movie and a dinner

I didn't even think about TDIET yesterday, but I got bored watching the Golden Globes, so thought I'd check it out. And I just need to make a quick comment on yesterday's strip. I was impressed with it, not because of any genius in the strip itself, but more because it didn't go the way I expected it to. After the top panel, I was convinced that they would get there and then have to sit through previews and commercials. Of course, that might be a bit too logical, because God knows enough people complain about them. (I don't. I love previews. I could live without the commercials, though.) I do enjoy all the people around Arfo who clearing aren't enjoying his snoring. Hey people, you could always just wake him up!

On to today's strip. I hate it when Al sets up strips like this--"Find the couple blah blah blah." It just brings out my sarcastic side. Well, gee, Al, I don't know! Who could it be? I'm thinking it's that guy in the right side of the strip who is glaring at the couple in the middle, possibly because the waitress, instead of saying, "I'll be back in a minute" and going to help him, is just wasting her time standing at the couple's table. Waitress Wendy, they're not going to leave much of a tip anyway, so you're just inconveniencing everyone by standing there.

Naturally, though, I'm in love with the food options not found on the menu--goulash, squid (yes!!! I get to use the squid tag again), knockwurst, scrod. Excellent. What kind of restaurant do they think they're in?

A lesson in weight loss

Today's strip marks the reappearance of Rotunda, last seen almost a month ago. She sure has lost some weight since then (and remember, kids, that it's not healthy to lose weight that quickly!). I wouldn't say that she's "gorging" herself on those free samples; it looks like she took one from each. Of course the samples are things that aren't good for her (clotted cheese?), but you know what, Al? That's OK. The thing with trying to lose weight is that you don't necessarily have to cut unhealthy food out of your life altogether. It's all about portion control. There's nothing wrong with having a cookie or two; you just want to avoid having, you know, 10 or 12. It's one thing if Rotunda is actually on a "special strict diet," but I get the feeling that N. Fioretta isn't talking about people on particularly strict diets. Weight Watchers does allow for pizza, folks.

I do love the return of the totally insane food, though. Sausage pizza? Good. Normal. Tasty. But "sauteed squid and clotted cheese wrapped in pork rind with mayo and bacon sauce"? Awesome. I've heard of clotted cream, so I supposed clotted cheese is possible, but what is it with Al and squid? It's like his go-to nasty food (because he apparently hasn't tried calamari). But at least that's something that they really would have to give out samples of in order to convince people to buy it. Or is that a recipe you'd make at home? I'm trying to imagine what the product would be called.

Hey, at least she's happy now

I cannot tell you how happy I am to see Mama Migraina in today's strip. Is she the mother of Migraina? If so, then I guess this guy is Migraina's (no-name) brother. Or is she Migraina as a grandmother?

When I saw "The gravy is done" followed by "so is the pasta," I got excited, because I just found out that some people refer to the tomato sauce on puts on pasta as "gravy." Which I find weird, but whatever. So anyway, I was happy, because it ties in perfectly with some newly acquired linguistic trivia. Too bad that the gravy could be your normal meat gravy, to go on the roast. So now I'm trying to figure out if it's pasta, like, the flavored noodles that I frequently eat as meals? That makes more sense, because initially I was picture a plate with roast and spaghetti on it.

And wow, there's a legitimate grammatical error here: "I've get the table--all set to eat"? What? I assume he meant to write "I've got," but nobody picked up on it. That's just a blatant proofreading overlook. (See! Barb am good with grammar, too!)

The baby is scary. I guess it's supposed to be hair, but that looks like a horn sticking out of his head. I do love how the family is looking on in horror. Which is understandable, because Mama Migraina there is manic. Like, unhealthily so. If I were them, I'd take her to a doctor.

Or not. Because that would just lead to more medical-themed strips.

Maybe the the one flight of stairs is really four stories long

Well, if today's strip has to be about someone who's sick, at least it doesn't take place in a hospital. Although I will point out that it's basically the same strip as these two, which appeared in July. At least he put a few months in between, as opposed to the eight days between those two strips.

The big question here is what the heck happened to Mrs. Lugbutt when she went downstairs and made some tea? Because there's no way she should look that disheveled after merely climbing a flight of stairs. Good Lord. She goes up and down those stairs every day! They shouldn't be such an incredible hardship. Geez.

I guess I should be more ticked off at Lugbutt, but I can't, because he's sick. First of all, she should know how he likes his tea. If he's asking for it, he probably drinks it on occasion. Presumably they've been married for a while and she's seen him sick before, so even if tea is something he drinks only when sick, she should probably know he likes it with sugar and lemon. (And yes, I'd say the same thing if I were talking about a husband caring for a sick wife.) But yes, it is annoying that he didn't ask for the eggs and toast earlier. (And what they heck does he have if he's asking for eggs? When I'm sick, the thought of anything other than toast or crackers or soup usually involves retching.) And would someone ask for "pan-fried" eggs? Wouldn't you just say "fried"?

Ghosts of TDIET past

You have got to be kidding me. Today's strip is just a minor variation on a strip from last Tuesday! He has to have more than eight ideas, right? At least Ragweed's request today is a lot more appetizing than anything we've been treated to before.

Lulula, whom we saw a mere five days ago, sure has changed. I guess Scaduto has a list of names that he uses over and over, because he figures that nobody in the country could possibly have those names. I can kind of understand his thought process, but seriously, get over it. Just because I read a book or comic or whatever and someone in it named "Barb" acts idiotically doesn't mean I take it as a personal offense.

Once again, we have Scaduto referring to a husband as a "friend." Interesting. I had thought, as an anonymous poster suggested, that yesterday's "friend" was referring to the reader; it was just messed up by a grammatical error. But nope. Again, I'm not saying that it's bad to refer to a spouse as a friend; I just find it kind of odd. Maybe because getting somthing from the kitchen is a friendly thing to do?

I particularly like how they both look upset in the top panel. Like, totally put-out by the situation. Bewildering. And their chairs are, I assume, supposed to be next to each other's, but Scaduto (as we learned in last Thursday's strip) has problems drawing anything with depth.(Heh heh. Take that as you will.)

Taking a step back...nothing about this seems unreasonable. It seems that normally, she'll say she's going to get food, and he insists on getting it for her--so now, she probably just expects him to get it for her every time. That seems a bit unfair. Him asking for a snack; no, not great, but he seems to treat her fine otherwise. Get over it, Lulula.

The edge of a smackdown

I'm trying to focus on the content of today's strip, I swear, but my eyes keep going back to whatever Leadbutt is watching on tv. Is it cricket? The "uniform" is totally throwing me off. Fishnets with a knee pad, a t-shirt, a fanny pack (that looks like it has pouches in the front and the back), a baseball cap, and batting gloves. Scaduto, if you're trying to convey baseball, it ain't workin'. It also looks like the batter is holding the bat over his head; maybe he struck out and is about to throw the bat down in disgust? And...fishnets? Really?

Moving on. OK, to the "Quite a number of wives all over U.S.A.": If your husband tries to pull that crap on you, just say no. I might be willing to go so far as to grab him an apple, but he's more than capable of doing the rest. It reminds me of that horrible frozen pizza commercial, where the husband is, for some reason, watching television outside with his friends, and calls his wife to "order" a pizza. And she, for some reason, actually brings it to him. Spraying him with the hose isn't proper retribution. Just don't bring him the pizza!

I don't know. Maybe I'm just a wacky feminist with crazy notions of how a marriage should and should not work. But I'm certainly not planning on allowing my future husband pull any of this crap.

And why is "They'll do it every time" a postscript? (Perhaps to annoy Martin?) And why is this "Living on the edge"? Maybe by "the edge," Scaduto is implying that the wife is going to put cyanide in the sardine sandwich.