Congrats, Fifi--you got your own tag!

So the premise of today's strip is that if a couple only goes out to eat once a month and eats very casually at home...they should have low expectations? Honestly, if I only go out to eat once a month, I want it to be nice. And waiter, rolling your eyes if I complain about wilted lettuce is not going to help your tip. I also wouldn't be happy with lukewarm water and dirty napkins. Most of these aren't unreasonable complaints! It really shouldn't matter how people eat at home; if the people at the next table eat off their fine china every night, but have similar complaints, are those valid? Fifi sure does seem to have an issue with messy people. Particularly people who are messy in private, but want things neat in public. I don't really consider that hypocrisy, but it sure does piss Fifi off.

Also, what does "live like they're camping out" even mean? They only have hot dogs, hamburgers, and smores to eat? They sleep in sleeping bags on the floor? They need to leave the house to use a bathroom?

Maybe it's time for the waiter to retire

I'm baaack! Thanks for your patience--it's been a crazy few weeks. But now I'm back (literally and figuratively; I was actually in Atlanta for a conference last week). Whee! I'm just happy I return to a restaurant strip instead of a medical one.

And we have a waiter with some major anger issues. He should only be pissed if Daffeen (why not Daffina, Al? Or Daffia?) and Mr. Daffeen didn't tip him, and even then, the cursing is entirely inappropriate. I can only hope that the couple at the next table, who apparently has been staring in horror for the entire evening, is horrified at the waiter's reaction, not at Daff ignoring her food. Or maybe the waiter is just upset about wasting food.

Obviously this is not something that happens every time. People send food back fairly regularly, and this waiter should be used to it. Heck, I don't know if I'd tip him much--check out the sneer in the top panel! And what's "modom"?

Also, I don't think the woman can be sent "back" to the moon, as I doubt she was ever there in the first place.

Well at home, you know it's a telemarketer

The most confusing thing about today's strip is the waiter's expression in the bottom panel. He looks, at the very least, amused. I mean, he's smiling. Maybe he figures that if these people are on the phone, they won't bother him too much? And God knows if I were a waitress, I wouldn't want to deal with the folks from TDIETland.

Anyway, I'm not so sure this is the case. There is a grain of truth in it, but I don't know that people who were adamantly anti-phones at dinner are now OK with being on their cell phones at restaurants. I do love the "Hee hee" when the woman realizes that both she and Lula are eating dinner.

In summary, Shut up, waitress

Holy crap. What are in the after-dinner mints in today's strip that a handful of them contains 3000 calories? I would really, really love to know what the actual suggestion was for today's strip. Because I could see someone declining dessert and then taking a few mints, and I could also see how a waitress/waiter might look askance at that (if the waiter/-ress was, you know, judgemental). But honestly, declining a dessert that's hundreds of calories vs. grabbing a few mints that might be a hundred calories total? There's no real comparison there.

And do restaurants honestly have signs that point out that they have mints? I've never seen that before. Most people are observant enough when it comes to those things.

Apparently that bistro isn't the best

I don't get yesterday's strip. I guess the submitter is just confused by advertising in general?

I'm disappointed that Al doesn't explicity state that the Barfos are in a bistro in today's strip. (And also, I thought "Barfo" was the first name.) Now, I know that I've seen this strip before, but can't seem to find it in my archives. (I really need to go back and tag all of my entries.) Anyway, I'll give Mr. Barfo a pass, as he just says that the food isn't as good as it used to be. That doesn't necessarily mean that the food is bad; it just isn't "as good." Mrs. Barfo, though? Not cool. However, I'd probably eat mediocre food over trying to figure out what to cook for dinner, too. Probably, ha. I totally have. Though I don't loudly comment about how bad the food sucks before I ask for a box.

At least he's not bashing his wife's food

We find ourselves back at a bistro in today's strip, where Al continues to show that his idea of a bistro and mine are quite different. I'd actually be pretty disturbed by Luglow's behavior. Not necessarily the swinging from "Love it" to "Hate it" on the food, but more how much he loves/hates it. That's just scary. He seems a bit bipolar.

But then, so do many of the people in these strips. They just go insane over the smallest things. Scary.

Mmm, squid souffle

Today's strip confuses me a bit. It's not the basic premise, it's the details. Why is it such a big deal that the waitress comes over when you're in the middle of eating something that's very hot? Is the fact that it's hot a problem? If not, why not just say, "Have your mouth full"? What it's full of doesn't really matter. And really, at that point it's just a (typical, I'll admit) nuisance that the waitress comes over when your mouth is full. Why does she have to go on and on like that (other than to allow me to include the tags for weirdo food and Hap Hapless--and aren't we all glad to hear he's doing well?)? And do waitresses honestly start conversations like that? I've never had a waiter or waitress ask me about what television show I watched the night before.

So, as in so many cases, the basic premise (waitress comes over at inconvenient time) is fine; it's pretty much every single detail that makes it bizarre. He'll do it every time!

Restaurant fantasy land

Today's strip would just never happen. Ever. I suppose that theoretically there is some restaurant out there that doesn't have much business and thus would be able to hold 10 empty seats for two and a half hours. But this is rare, much less something that come even close to happening "every time." And even if they could hold on to 10 empty chairs, I imagine that they'd break up the tables after a while. I think the more appropriate strip would be Barfmore coming in at 9:30 with his group of 10, expecting to be seated even though they were insanely late, only to have the maitre d' tell them to shove off.

And why do Barfmore's companions look so shocked? Did they think they had reservations for 3 at 9:30? Did they not realize that Barfmore didn't change the reservation?

Also, Al, just stick with one variation on "Barfo"--there's Barfo, and Barfwell, and Barflow, and now Barfmore. If you need a reminder of what names you've used, just check out my tags. Or e-mail me. Or drop me a letter.

Burger Boss is my fave!

I...kind of don't have much negative to say about today's strip. And God knows I've read enough angry Internet confrontations over the issue of kids in a restaurant that I don't particularly want to stray into it. It upsets me that Al used "Daffina" instead of "Daffia," which he's used before. I hate how he uses these slight modifications to names that don't make any sense to begin with. Also the use of "bistro" when he means "restaurant," because to me, "restaurant" and "bistro" don't necessarily mean the same thing. All bistros are restaurants, but all restaurants aren't bistros.

So...I'm not going to wade into the meat of today's strip, and will instead wish everyone a lovely long weekend.

Mmm, achin' bacon

Today's strip is annoying because it's trying to equate two totally different situations. In the top panel, there's a problem because the doctor is trying to communicate with Barfo using lots of big words. The problem here is not Barfo, it's Doc Epsom. He's not doing his job and letting a patient know what's wrong with him and what he needs to do for it.

There is no problem in the bottom panel. Barfo is communicating with the chef, who understands the shorthand that's being used. To make it like the top panel, Barfo would be using that language to, say, give the diners the dinner specials. It'd be one thing if Barfo were also a doctor and couldn't understand what Epsom was saying. But this? No.

And please. The King's English? The only thing that matters is that the person being spoken to understands what's being said.

Those pickles and chips really stand out, don't they?

Today's strip marks the return of chef Al Dente, world famous for his super-clean kitchen. Welcome back, Al! As for the content...huh? I mean, I applaud Al for including "They'll do it every time!" in the strip, even though that's hardly the case. I actually just had a sandwich for lunch and I had no problems with the crust. And what the heck kind of bread is that? Also, has Al or E. Loper ever used a bread knife? Yep, they're big. I don't know why, but I'm sure there's some sort of reason. I...really just don't understand. Even when I've found that the crust hasn't been totally cut through, I've never had problems like that.

I'd find this strip a lot better if it were dealing with pizza. I think we've all experienced pizza that hasn't been cut through properly. That's a real pain the butt.

I love the depiction of the Crust That Just Won't Break. I love that the knife just looks about four feet long. I love the inclusion of "uncut" in the dialogue, because without it, the strip just wouldn't make sense, right Al?

I am going to have to kill Al, though. "Thru" just drives me up a wall. Sometimes the language in these strips just really gets to me, and today is one of those days.

See if I take my tourism money to Florida again

Ah, today's strip is more people in Florida complaining about us folks from Up North. There clearly is a disconnect here. Migraina and Ragmop are really dressed up in the top panel; that has to be a really fancy place. And in the bottom panel, I can only assume that the restaurant doesn't have a dress code; otherwise, the host could just tell them to dress up a bit. Therefore, the place probably isn't that fancy. (And if the top place isn't that fancy, then Migraina and Ragmop are just overdressed, which also is mockable. But that's not the point here.) And by the way, snooty (snotty?) restaurant guy? They can still spend money, even if they are in casual wear.

(I want to add the disclaimer here that I never want to see Migraina in a two-piece ever again.)

And really, Hal Steinberg, how do you know (a) that these people are from "up north" and (b) that they always dressed up for every meal out? Do they say, "Man, when we lived back Up North, we always wore tuxes and evening gowns when we dined out! I love that we can now dress like we just came from the pool when we go out"? If not, shut it.

I kind of want tomorrow's strip to make snide comments about Southerners.

Penalty for unnecessary Latin

Not that we needed more proof that TDIET is clearly set in the 1950s, but today's strip provided some. Lunch at a swanky bistro, that I assume we're supposed to find expensive, is a whopping...$32? Parking in an attended lot is...$0.75? Seriously, that's only $16 a person, including tip!

Which doesn't really get into the substance of the strip, I know. And yes, this sort of thing does happen. It's amusing, actually, because the other night a friend of mine told me a story that basically was this strip:

My friend and his boyfriend went out with a couple that they met at church. They were having a lovely time, chatting, etc. The bill comes; my friend's boyfriend picks it up and puts down enough cash for their half of the tab. And they just keep talking...and talking...and the other couple doesn't even glance at the tab. The waiter comes by a few times, and still the other couple does nothing. So my friend finally grabs his credit card and pays for the entire thing. Afterward, the four of them go someplace else and the other couple offers to buy dessert. So my friend bought dinner and got a $4 cookie and coffee. His boyfriend refused to have anything, so the other couple couldn't claim they were even.

Anyway. Not sure of the use of "non compos," which I believe means "not in control." What? Usually it's "non compos mentis," which I actually believe Al has used before. That implies "not sane," but that doesn't fit it. It just seems random.

Soapy restaurants...no, that's not right

It seems that all King Features syndicate comics were out of commission yesterday, and the inability to see what happened in Mary Worth was killing me. Damn you, Washington Post, for stopping carrying that fine comic! Anyway, that means two-for-one today!

Yesterday's strip returns us to the world of soap operas. I've never been a soap fan (other than primetime soaps; I went through a phase with Sisters), other than for a couple of weeks in college. Clearly this woman's problem is that she missed a Friday episode. Absolutely nothing happens from Monday to Thursday; Friday's where the action is at. Of course, Fridays normally end in a cliff-hanger, to bring you back on Monday. Honestly, this woman is probably fine; the soap is clearly going over exactly what happened. I think it would've been awesome if this had been about the soap comic strips. I mean, it's essentially the same concept, but it could be about someone who missed Aldo crashing to his death in Mary Worth.

In today's strip, we learn that Al doesn't understand the difference between simply stacking plates and actually cleaning up a kitchen. Even the addition of wiping crumbs off the tables doesn't even begin to compare to actually washing dishes and pans, etc. I love how the husband's solution to the wife complaining about cleaning up the kitchen isn't volunteering to do it himself (because God forbid any man actually do housework), but to go out to dinner. And "the little woman"? Hold on while I wait for my head to explode. My question is what the heck did these three people eat to result in so many plates? Anyway, this one kind of reminds me of one from last November--I guess it's the combination of restaurants and acting the same at home and while eating out.

Squid you to the moon!

Today's strip almost makes me think Al reads this blog and is just throwing things in there to make us happy. Squid? Pan-fry his butt? Though, clearly, if he were reading, he'd know that he should've written "The urge to pan-fry his butt to the moon" to make us really happy. And throw in my favorite car. But even though the content, not surprisingly, is dumb, I'm still smiling.

I find it amusing two days ago we had Waitress Wendy, and now we have Waitress Winnie. And the two look suspiciously alike. (Twins? Or is just required that all waitresses have large blond curly hair?) And, psst, Al, it's not required that people's names start with the same first letter as their profession. Did you notice that the woman who sent this in was a waitress named Tessie?

Looking at this closer, I'm now kind of confused by the whole strip. Theoretically these are two different meals--steak and soup vs. pan-fried squid rigoletto--which would probably happen on different days. Yet the diner is wearing the same outfit, and the waitress is upset with him. I guess she remembers him complaining at a previous meal? Bizarre.

And honestly, the diner isn't complaining about the service in the top panel, he's complaining about the food. And he's not blaming the waitress, other than wondering how she can serve it. Nothing there is against her.

This strip just totally came apart for me. So sad.

Movie and a dinner

I didn't even think about TDIET yesterday, but I got bored watching the Golden Globes, so thought I'd check it out. And I just need to make a quick comment on yesterday's strip. I was impressed with it, not because of any genius in the strip itself, but more because it didn't go the way I expected it to. After the top panel, I was convinced that they would get there and then have to sit through previews and commercials. Of course, that might be a bit too logical, because God knows enough people complain about them. (I don't. I love previews. I could live without the commercials, though.) I do enjoy all the people around Arfo who clearing aren't enjoying his snoring. Hey people, you could always just wake him up!

On to today's strip. I hate it when Al sets up strips like this--"Find the couple blah blah blah." It just brings out my sarcastic side. Well, gee, Al, I don't know! Who could it be? I'm thinking it's that guy in the right side of the strip who is glaring at the couple in the middle, possibly because the waitress, instead of saying, "I'll be back in a minute" and going to help him, is just wasting her time standing at the couple's table. Waitress Wendy, they're not going to leave much of a tip anyway, so you're just inconveniencing everyone by standing there.

Naturally, though, I'm in love with the food options not found on the menu--goulash, squid (yes!!! I get to use the squid tag again), knockwurst, scrod. Excellent. What kind of restaurant do they think they're in?

Arrival of the squid tag

Sorry for the delay...Blogger was being a bitca when I tried to post during lunch today.

For today's strip, at the suggestion of an anonymous poster, I'm giving in and starting a squid tag. It's necessary. At least here Scaduto is making squid appear as some totally gross food. (Calamari, mmm.) Really, I'm not a huge seafood fan, but add butter, garlic, and oregano to anything, and I start drooling. Mmm, garlic. Where was I?

While the waiter is kind of scary in the top panel (it's the eyebrows!), the diner really is out of line. But from what I've gathered, chefs don't necessarily agree to everything the diner requests. I can't really get too worked up about this, though. Maybe it's because I just ate (Chinese, mmmm) or maybe it's because I'm a bit sleepier. Or maybe because I'm at home, so am less easily annoyed than when I'm at work.

I will point out, though, that the chef brandishing that knife doesn't imply "broil." It implies "fillet." Hee! I slay me.

They can all go get stuff to settle their stomachs, at least

After yesterday's shocking venture into Real Time (i.e., the cigarette prices were accurate for 2006), it's back to the Days of Yore in today's strip. It took me a few minutes to try and think of a place where there might be a "lunch counter" (...actually, I could stop the sentence right there, couldn't I?) and a "pill and prescription department" (or a "pharmacy," as we call it) in the same store. And then I pictured a store I used to go to after school when I was in middle school; basically a 5 and 10. We used to go to the lunch counter and it's possible there was a pharmacy. And it seems that pharmacies perhaps used to have lunch counters. But not, you know, in the last 15 years. (Or more--I'm dating this to the place I went, which closed not too long after.) Particularly employing people in those uniforms.

Anyway, I doubt that people would honestly get that upset about what the sick guy is saying. The grossest thing in there is "foot fungus" and it's not like he's describing his ailment in terrible detail. I mean, it'd be one thing if he were describing his vomit using specifics, but he's not.

I'd get more upset, but again, distracted by the "lunch counter" concept.

X never, ever marks the spot

I'm trying to avoid the actual content of today's strip, so I'm going to tell you a story (that perhaps I've told before, but I don't feel like searching the archives). My dad's name is Fred. A number of years ago, one of our somewhat distant cousins was graduating from high school, and sent us an announcement. On the envelope? "Ferd, [Mom], and the Grils." Fabulous!

So that, naturally, was what I thought of when I saw our protagonist's name. I will say that it's not terribly often we see an archaeologist in the comics these days. I mean, how random! Not that anything about him or what he's doing in the top strip is actually representative of archaeologists, but that's beside the point.

How random, though, that he found a bone in a chicken salad sandwich. I feel like the joke would've worked better if he had been eating fish, and found a whole pile of bones (which has happened to me).

I'm kind of amused to see the suggestion that Walter sent in. I mean, who really sits around and is like, "Wouldn't it be funny if an archaeologist never found a bone when excavating, but broke his tooth on a bone while eating?" Bizarre.

An argument for ordering take-out

Strangely enough, I actually let out a "Heh" in reaction to today's strip. Although, looking at it now, I'm not sure why. (Maybe I'm just easily amused when I first get to work.)

The thing here is that neither of the players in this strip--the father or the phone lady--is right. The dad needs to get his kids in check (and not be such a jerk to the phone lady), but just because you have a couple of obnoxious kids at the next table doesn't make it acceptable to talk on a cell phone in a restaurant. (If you have to take a call, excuse yourself and go to the lobby.) Two wrongs do not make a right.

What really intrigues me here is the obnoxious son. Look at his hair! That is the hair of a Bad Kid. Now Al needs to figure out a way to give little girls Bad Kid hair. And, you know, not have their faces be identical to adults' faces.

I'd also like everyone to check out the cell phone the Phone Lady has. It's the size of her head. Not quite a Zack Morris phone, but it's pretty big.