To catch a thief

I...wow. Is the police brutality in the top panel of today's strip a first? Al did a good job in qualifying it with "wild, resisting villain," but at that point...man, it looks like the cop is just beating the thief about the head with a billy club for no apparent reason. I can't believe that that's the most effective way to subdue someone. (I'd suggest a taser, but don't want to get into that debate again.) Anyway, I always assumed that the way people are put into the police cars is just a continuation of making sure the person doesn't make any sudden movements. Part of it might be to avoid the person bumping his or her head, but part of it was a control issue. I thought, anyway. And really, should we be rooting for the suspect to become even more injured?

Well, if the cartoons are shown in HD, why not?

Today's strip was another that I had to read a few times to understand. I guess I underestimated how helpful those exposition boxes are. Anyway, looks like we're supposed to be down on Hekkie for suggesting a new, high-def television. I'm not really sure about the snide comments. If his dad is having problems getting a good picture on a tv that's only 5 or 6 years old, then there's a problem. (My tv is about 7 years old now and is just fine, thanks.) And HD is how things are moving; at this point, if you're getting a new tv, it makes sense to buy HD. The prices are coming down and everything's going digital. You're just setting yourself up for becoming obsolete if you go non-HD. (Here I mean for something like the family room's tv. I'd have no hesitation to buy a small, non-HD television for my bedroom or something.) (But really, you shouldn't take technology-buying advice from me. I have the very bad habit of buying this sort of thing impulsively.)

Anyway. Widescreen is a bit much, but what kid wouldn't pull for that? And Hekkie looks older than 8; I'm sure he's watching more than just cartoons. As for the "wrecking crew" comment, I have no idea where that came from. Who are those people in the other room, anyway? Random commentators?

10 a.m. isn't sleeping TOO late

I admit that I don't understand today's strip at all. The mother says that the kid doesn't get enough sleep on school nights because he goes to bed late. (I don't really know what to make of the "And don't stay in bed long enough and sleep"...implying that he gets up too early? Huh?) And when the kid doesn't have to get up...she wakes him up. Which will make him cranky. Which she complains about. So she should let him sleep in, I guess. My question is whether the mother actually wants the son to be doing something, or whether she's just waking him up on the principle that he shouldn't sleep late. If she's just waking him up so he's up, that's stupid. But if he has to do something...well, get up.

Yeah, I don't know.

You DO need to say more

One of the biggest problems with today's strip is that it's labeled as "sign of the times," and yet everyone in it looks like they belong in 1956. Just having the kid say "like" and "awesome" doesn't make him contemporary. Of course, I don't get this at all. So is the implication that the popular hairstyle today is insanely short? Is that...bad? And what does the "Tomahawk cut" remark mean? It looks like someone who's been scalped?

I just don't know. Al, you continue to confuse.

Ragweed and the closet. PLUS! Pushover mothers and

From the name of the wife (Nubbia? Really?) to the concept, I don't get today's strip. I mean, I do to a point--you think getting more closet space will lead to having more room, but it still fills up! But why does Ragweed look so upset in the bottom panel? It's really those Disgust/Anger Lines over his head that confuse me. Ragweed, dude, if there's not enough room in your closet, it's your fault, not the closet's. Just go through and get rid of whatever you don't wear. (And judging from the suit in the top panel, he should also get rid of the stuff he does wear.) I mean, both Ragweed and Nubbia look mad in the bottom panel. Why? Also, it doesn't look much worse than before; it looks the same.

Are there honestly parents like the mom in yesterday's strip? I cannot imagine telling my mom that I didn't want to eat when she called me for dinner. (And Alonzo looks like a teenager; aren't teenaged boys always hungry?) At the very least, I'd have to come down and sit at the table, and probably pick at my food. I'm assuming that Mom tells Alonzo that he can find his own food at this point, because if I were her, I certainly wouldn't be serving him anything. Or telling him he would just have to wait until breakfast, if this is something he pulls with any regularity. There is absolutely no reason why she should put up with this behavior.

In Monday's strip, we're again in an office. [Insert usual comments about lack of computers, etc., here.] I'm kind of at a loss for words. "No alibis"? Shouldn't that be "excuses"? Except, of course, that it was used in the expo box. Not that it makes it better. And Honcho is smoking in his office? I don't think that's legal in many places. Honestly, I think this would've worked better if it had just been that Honcho insisted on punctuality, but was still late in getting shipments out. Ha ha! The company is clearly headed down the tubes! Oh, yeahhh! Honestly, though, I wouldn't think that Boss Honcho would be in charge of making shipments, would he? That seems to be a bit below his pay grade.

Carrying the golf bag probably isn't good for his back

Anyone else think that today's strip should've appeared either in December or in April? I mean, Al could've held on to this for a month, and it would've been better. (Much better would be holding onto it until April, but I'll let that slide.) There's also a real disconnect between what Annoya is saying and her expression. If someone just included the dialogue box, I'd just assume a low level of passive-aggressiveness, trying to keep Arfo at home. (It's the "take it easy" that's throwing me off.) But her expression...that's blatant hostility. I guess I just wish I knew why she wants him home. Is she just trying to stop him from having fun, or is there more to it than that?

Now we know who's causing global warming

I really don't know what to make of today's strip. I feel bad trying to say anything bad about it, because pollution is bad, mmmkay? But it's just so bizarre. Isn't smoking pretty much already prohibited in all workplaces already? I've encountered a few places (like my old job, for example) where there was a smoking lounge, but most places don't have anything like that anymore, much less allow people to light up at their desks. Or assembly line station. And would a boss try to ban it because it pollutes? Most people ban it for, you know, health reasons. Not that air quality doesn't affect our health, obviously, but I've never heard of this sort of correlation.

Man, I just hope Honcho is doing something about that pollution from his factory. Honest, guys, I just don't know what to say here. Well, except that "diffo" is just wrong. As is the hyphen between "cigarette" and "smoking." (And does that mean that pipes and cigars are A-OK?) And also, use different words in the expo box and how people are coughing. That's just lazy.

The return of Rachael Ray

At least in today's strip, unlike the last time we explored this topic, the at-home chef managed to complete the recipe in the correct amount of time. That being said, we have seen the insanely large numbers of dishes before. Honestly. The woman making the recipe obviously knew how many dishes she was dirtying. If she glanced at the recipe beforehand, she knew there'd be a ton of them. But really, how are there so many dishes? I just don't understand. There are piles of them everywhere! It looks like some have even snuck into the living room. How could that meal require so many dishes? This just makes no sense to me.

Blah blah, exaggeration. I understand. But there's a limit, people. That being said, I love her agreeing with the television. "Me, too!"

Do most TDIET women have jobs outside the home?

I'm not sure that I totally get today's strip. Obviously, I understand the premise. She's didn't put much money in, but wants to benefit as well. There are a lot of problems, though. This is TDIET. What are the chances that Annoya has a job outside the home? Probably slim. So really, Barfo's money is hers, anyway. Do they actually have their own checking accounts? And even though Annoya didn't put a lot of money in there, she did put the occasional coin in there. But it could've added up over time. So how can this be divided fairly? And I'd like to point out that unless that's all pennies (clearly not--the coins are silver), a jar that comes up to Barfo's waist should hold WAY more than just $205. I have a mug that I put my spare change in. It maybe comes up to just above my ankle. It probably has a good $10 in it. And that doesn't have any quarters in it. Presumably, Barfo's jar does. And honestly, if Barfo didn't want Annoya to get her hands on that money, he should've done something else with his change.

Yesterday's strip is yet another foray into the world of people who work from home, combined with the perennial favorite of retirement. (Probably just to contradict my assertion above about women not working in the world of TDIET. But Annoya was wearing an apron. I rest my case.) Anyway, at first I thought it was just about Fignewt having to deal with his wife entertaining while he's working. I just hope his office has a door. As for errands...well, no, Mrs. Fignewt shouldn't expect him to have the time to do that. But one of the benefits of working from home is that you can. I'm just saying. In any case, clearly he need to explain to his wife--again--the concept of working from home. And if it doesn't work out...well, they need to figure something out.

Apparently that bistro isn't the best

I don't get yesterday's strip. I guess the submitter is just confused by advertising in general?

I'm disappointed that Al doesn't explicity state that the Barfos are in a bistro in today's strip. (And also, I thought "Barfo" was the first name.) Now, I know that I've seen this strip before, but can't seem to find it in my archives. (I really need to go back and tag all of my entries.) Anyway, I'll give Mr. Barfo a pass, as he just says that the food isn't as good as it used to be. That doesn't necessarily mean that the food is bad; it just isn't "as good." Mrs. Barfo, though? Not cool. However, I'd probably eat mediocre food over trying to figure out what to cook for dinner, too. Probably, ha. I totally have. Though I don't loudly comment about how bad the food sucks before I ask for a box.

Can you make goulash out of a hide?

The most confusing part of today's strip is the heading "Grounds for you know what". No, actually, I don't know what (not personally, anyway! *rim shot*). Divorce? I wouldn't really call this grounds for divorce. That's extreme. And why the heck was Drusilla making appetizers? It'd be one thing if she thought the boss was supposed to be coming to their house, but that doesn't seem to be the case. (Also, Al, don't use the name "Drusilla" again, as it only makes me think of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Dru would clearly do something insane in revenge, which would be entertaining, but doesn't really fit with the strip.) I mean--look at all that food. That's only for Drusilla and Knotop? That just seems extreme.

If Knotop had any brains, what he would've done is come home and lied. He should've said that as he was leaving, his boss invited them over for dinner, and of course Knotop couldn't say no. Everybody wins (unless Drusilla says something about a "last-minute invitation" while at dinner). At least Knotop looks a bit sheepish. I would, too. Look at all that food! Well, at least Drusilla can bring the pie with her as a hostess gift.

Really, do women spend their whole days preparing a meal just for their husband when it's not something like their anniversary? Also, Al, a side salad doesn't take very long to whip up.

I didn't even realize I had a "hair" tag

I just don't get today's strip. Usually the hypocrisy in TDIETland is a tad more subtle--Fignewt is upset at his wife for spending money on her hair, but then he blows a ton of money on his clothes. Or something. I suppose the reason that it's so blatant is because it was sent in by a barber; he probably saw wives get scolded for spending money at his place, then the husbands come in and get the full treatment. Though it's not often that a "barber" would offer expensive frills; when I think "barber," I think your basic shop where a man can go in and get a shave and a haircut. The kind of place depicted in the strip would employ "hairdressers."

This bothers me, though, because as soon as Fignewt got home from the salon, his wife should tear him apart. He obviously knows that the hairdresser doesn't simply "comb your hair." It's been a while, but this kind of strip annoys me. The wife just needs to not accept that kind of crap treatment from her husband.

And why are the people who work at his salon all French?

That all having been said, I did kind of chuckle at "Headicare."

Mmm, squid souffle

Today's strip confuses me a bit. It's not the basic premise, it's the details. Why is it such a big deal that the waitress comes over when you're in the middle of eating something that's very hot? Is the fact that it's hot a problem? If not, why not just say, "Have your mouth full"? What it's full of doesn't really matter. And really, at that point it's just a (typical, I'll admit) nuisance that the waitress comes over when your mouth is full. Why does she have to go on and on like that (other than to allow me to include the tags for weirdo food and Hap Hapless--and aren't we all glad to hear he's doing well?)? And do waitresses honestly start conversations like that? I've never had a waiter or waitress ask me about what television show I watched the night before.

So, as in so many cases, the basic premise (waitress comes over at inconvenient time) is fine; it's pretty much every single detail that makes it bizarre. He'll do it every time!

Restaurant fantasy land

Today's strip would just never happen. Ever. I suppose that theoretically there is some restaurant out there that doesn't have much business and thus would be able to hold 10 empty seats for two and a half hours. But this is rare, much less something that come even close to happening "every time." And even if they could hold on to 10 empty chairs, I imagine that they'd break up the tables after a while. I think the more appropriate strip would be Barfmore coming in at 9:30 with his group of 10, expecting to be seated even though they were insanely late, only to have the maitre d' tell them to shove off.

And why do Barfmore's companions look so shocked? Did they think they had reservations for 3 at 9:30? Did they not realize that Barfmore didn't change the reservation?

Also, Al, just stick with one variation on "Barfo"--there's Barfo, and Barfwell, and Barflow, and now Barfmore. If you need a reminder of what names you've used, just check out my tags. Or e-mail me. Or drop me a letter.

Migratory complaints

I'm not entirely sure I understand today's strip, although I do see that it was submitted by a cranky Florida reader. If they're not careful, they're going to get their own tag. My biggest point of confusion is whether the Arfo and Elpie own two homes--one in the south and one in the north. The expo box isn't sure ("To visit old friends or what?"), and she says that they come up every year. If they're staying with friends, that is a bit obnoxious. But if they have a place to stay, what's the big deal? It seems logical that a couple might want to go south in the winter, and north in the summer. Lots of retirees do it; my grandparents did. And if they came north just for a vacation, is there even an issue here? I guess this might be a "grass is greener" situation.

I only just figured out the "They usta say it's not bad" comment. What the heck is "usta"? Al frequently tries to write things phonetically, but he fails miserably here. "Usta" does not mean "used to." Ever, pretty much. And people who scoff at the "dry heat" comment need to feel what 95 degrees feels like in Arizona, then feel 95 degrees in DC in July. They're very different.

Of course, this doesn't make sense if Arfo and Elpie moved to Florida. You can't say that the heat in Florida is dry. And why is the Florida person complaining? It means that people leave in the summer, which you think would make them happy.

Free that kid!

I'm not sure I get today's strip. Well, I get it, in the sense that I see that a fight morphs from being about taking out the garbage to being about something else entirely. And I guess this is a "do it every time" situation, because yeah, that's pretty much how fights go. Once the floodgates are open, anything goes. I guess what I don't understand is why this is even a strip. Are we supposed to think, "How wacky! They started talking about one thing and wound up talking about something else!"? Because...honestly, that's pretty much every conversation. I just feel bad for the kid. This is obviously something he's seen before. He looks like he wishes his parents would just get divorced already.

A couple other notes: Again with the mention of the husband's sister! It's such a recurring theme in this strip that it makes me wonder whether Mrs. Al has issues with Al's sister. And who keeps the garbage can like that in their dining room? Even assuming that the kitchen is on the other side of the cans, that's just a bit too much. Those cans look like they belong outside. And lastly, submitted by "You know who"? No, I don't know who.

Memory like an elephant

Today's strip raises an interesting question for me. The submitter chose to be "Pul-leeze no name, no address" because he knew that his wife would read the strip and recognize herself. Now, we know that Al is very good about giving the submitter a copy of the strip. In cases like this, does the submitter get a copy? He couldn't display it or anything. Sometimes a "No Name" submitter could still get one; those are the ones where the person is whining about a neighbor. But whining about a spouse? I can't imagine that the submitter could have the strip around.

Anyway. The strip itself. I don't understand why there's something noteworthy about a husband having a bad memory and a wife having a good one. I guess we're just supposed to think, "Yes, that is frequently the way it is!" And...I guess it kind of is. In most couples I know, the woman has a better memory than the husband. So, um, good job, anonymous submitter?

Except that this is much more about a nagging wife than a woman having a good memory. She retains all of Fignewt's transgressions (and those of his stuck-up sister, who, by the way, seem to be rampant in the TDIETverse). That still has nothing to do with Fignewt having a crappy memory. It would've been better if it had been something like "Migraina never remembers when Fignewt tells her important information [picture of Fignewt bringing home the Big Boss for dinner, while Migraina has nothing prepared], but when it comes to remembering something Fignewt did wrong, heh heh, need I say more? Ohhh yeah! [bottom panel]"

May catch-up

In Tuesday's strip...I just don't know where to start. Quite franky, if a guy showed up to pick me up for a date and it went like that, well, it'd be a first and only date. But it seems that the girl is used to it, and really, they're going to hang out with their friends at the mall. Seems pretty tame. I guess we're supposed to be horrified at the car, clothes, and language, but I have a pretty hard time getting worked up about the language when Al includes the "It goes something like so--but like, we mean, oh, yeah-h-h-h." Honestly, he's parodying himself, right? A casual reader might think that that's supposed to mock how the kids talk; it'd be a nice argument if Al didn't use that sort of thing frequently. Favorite parts of the strip: The "Luggo Buggo" and the nice couple walking by in time to witness this horrifying act.

Yesterday's strip just baffles me. If you call out sick, then your boss probably won't call you--unless your boss is a jerk. Or you're one of those super-important types, but even then, people try to avoid calling people who are sick. Call it common courtesy. And though I can't say that I've never taken a mental health day (assuming that by "ducked work" Al means "called in sick when he wasn't), I can't feel too bad for Lugger in the bottom panel. I would say that he should just have his boss call his cell phone, except that that would mean Al includes a cell phone in a strip in a way that normal people use them. Can't have that! I do love how Mrs. Lugger was practically just copied and pasted from the top to the bottom panel--only her outfit has changed.

Today's strip finds us returning, not surprisingly, to the world of medicine, hospitals, and the numerous problems surrounding visitors--an issue Al has gone over numerous times before. The only thing I find particularly noteworthy about this strip is that submitter isn't from Florida. Quite frankly, if I were a nurse and had a patient ringing for me all time, and accompanying it with calling out like that, I probably wouldn't go running to his bedside, either. I'm happy that Al didn't do what he usually does and give the patient a bandage on his head and/or arm to indicate that yes, he does belong in a hospital. Though an IV drip might be a nice touch. Anyway, I'm debating what I think about using "Nightingales" instead of "nurses." I think I like it, actually. I believe at one point, that was fairly common.

(..."My hot wheels are rarin' t'go"? Hee hee. It's funnier if you think he's talking about a toy car.)

Those pickles and chips really stand out, don't they?

Today's strip marks the return of chef Al Dente, world famous for his super-clean kitchen. Welcome back, Al! As for the content...huh? I mean, I applaud Al for including "They'll do it every time!" in the strip, even though that's hardly the case. I actually just had a sandwich for lunch and I had no problems with the crust. And what the heck kind of bread is that? Also, has Al or E. Loper ever used a bread knife? Yep, they're big. I don't know why, but I'm sure there's some sort of reason. I...really just don't understand. Even when I've found that the crust hasn't been totally cut through, I've never had problems like that.

I'd find this strip a lot better if it were dealing with pizza. I think we've all experienced pizza that hasn't been cut through properly. That's a real pain the butt.

I love the depiction of the Crust That Just Won't Break. I love that the knife just looks about four feet long. I love the inclusion of "uncut" in the dialogue, because without it, the strip just wouldn't make sense, right Al?

I am going to have to kill Al, though. "Thru" just drives me up a wall. Sometimes the language in these strips just really gets to me, and today is one of those days.

This strip is beyond comprehension and etc.

I...just don't understand today's strip. I mean, at all. I keep looking at it and going, "What? Huh? No, really--huh?" To the point where it's now getting its own label. I would love to see what J. Waddel actually sent it to Scaduto; was it really this convoluted? "Don't you hate those neighbors who bash the UN for not doing enough to stop war, but then they go out and get into a fight with their own neighbors? Happens all the time!"

I mean...OK, so the guy's saying that the UN should stop wars. But he, himself, has no problem feuding with his neighbor. I'm still not entirely sure that I find those comparable. The real story is that he's a jerkwad who likes to talk a big game about things he (most likely) has no actual knowledge of.

I will point out that the "Er-G-Gulp" noise that the neighbor is making in no way matches the neighbor's expression. Maybe it's just that his mustache points up at the end, but I keep thinking he's smiling. I love the mustache, though.

I'm also getting a bit sick of the characters who are making faces at the audience. It's like Al thinks that we need to be told how we're supposed to feel about the main character. Agh. We get it. This isn't The Office, and that guy certainly isn't Jim.