Invest him to the moon

Maybe it's just that I'm oddly cranky today, but today's strip totally makes me want to smack someone around. So much stupidity. Look, Al, there's a difference between being able to analyze financial investments and being able to divide. Knowing about how to invest does not make you a "mathematical whiz." (I'm rereading Confessions of a Shopaholic at the moment, about a financial columnist who can't manage her own money, which is more ironic than this situation.)

And where the heck is Theo a columnist? Between the typewriter (*sigh*) and the light hanging precariously over his desk, I can't imagine that it's for any sort of major newspaper or magazine, despite the assertion that he advises "millions." Right. Seriously, what has a circulation of millions? I thought for a moment that perhaps he's freelance (ooh, he might be syndicated!) and is working from home, but how does he get those columns in? I refuse to believe he has a fax machine, and what editor would accept a column that was faxed in?

And really, what financial columnist refuses to get with the times like this? How can "adequate returns" be "bullish"? Are these all for the same column?

This makes no sense. And I really don't feel like even having to think about finance stuff at the moment. I will say that those are some darn cheap oranges, though. And way to dress up to go to the grocery store, Theo.